"Disappointed......."

Tonight was a warm Monday evening. It's actually one of my favorite nights. It is Family Home Evening night! A night dedicated to spending with my little family, to teach one another, talk with one another, and to especially love one another. A chance to invite others over and share our love, message, and spirit with!

Tonight my Native American sisters came over and made us a wonderful fry bread dinner. My husband made dessert and I taught the lesson. In our home tonight was Gene (my lil brother), Toa (my nephew), Muzz (our friend), Billie and her husband Felipe (friends), and my husband.

Every Family Home Evening after the song, scripture, thought, and lesson my husband and I take turns speaking. It is usually about our week, how our past weekend was, how we can be better, what can we do different, discussing our goals, and than of course expressing our love for one another and whoever is in our home at the time! Well tonight as we went around the room giving everyone a chance to speak, we get to Muzz, who is a non-member, and as she spoke I could feel tears coming down. Just as they are right now. Muzz thanked us for inviting her over and for loving her no matter our differences. Differences of our Religions and beliefs. But what really got to me is when she said that it is hard for her to find friends around here who will accept her for her, a non-member!

HOW could people be so close minded!? I told Muzz I loved her because it was the right thing to do, not because of what she believes or doesn't believe! My heart ached for her, and I just started crying. I could not believe that this beautiful, smart, funny, athletic girl had a hard time finding friends JUST because of her difference in religion. If anything, WE are the ones that should be embracing her, not only her but everyone who doesn't believe in what we Latter-Day Saints believe. Our duty isn't to judge, it's just to love. How are we supposed to bring the lost sheep to the fold if we can't even love them before we know them???

All we need to know about this beautiful girl is that she is a daughter of God.

Our Heavenly Father has said in very plain terms that he who says he loves God and does not love his brother is not truthful.

There needs to be more love!

"SO INNOCENT"

I believe everything happens for a reason. If Sister Kuaea (my friend and neighbor) didn't leave town for the weekend I would have never had the AMAZING opportunity to teach the CTR 6 Class. Sweet, Little, Smart, and very VERY funny primary children, whose ages range from 6-7.

I sure did NOT know what I was in for. If I would've known class was going to be sooo entertaining I would have recorded it...hahahahha!!!!!

LESSON:

"Jesus Christ Was a Child Like Me"

PURPOSE:
To Strengthen the children's desire to be like Jesus Christ by increasing their knowledge of Jesus' childhood.

The lesson is full of discussions, questions, examples of how they have many similarities with Jesus as a child. And so it began, the spirit was definitely present, and I think the spirit was entertained, just as I was. Here we gooooooo......let me introduce these precious spirits!!

NAME: Mataira Brown
AGE: 6...says he's almost 7
PARENTS: Kohlyne and Sasha Brown
FAVORITE FOOD: Pizza
WHAT I LEARN AT HOME: "Clean my moms bed" lol. Since his mom is my cousin I told him, "your mom should clean her own bed" hahahah.
DADS OCCUPATION: Has no clue. So I told him "your dads a lawyer", in response, he just rolled his eyes..haha





NAME: Rayli Galea'i
AGE: 6
PARENTS: Mili & Raymond Galea'i
FAVORITE FOOD: Fruits
DESCRIPTION OF HOME: She says "Outside is brown, and inside is alllllll white!"
WHAT I LEARN AT HOME: "The Gospel"
DADS JOB: "My dad works at the BYU hospital"
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In the middle of class "Miss Aloha" stands up and starts doing a hula!! hahahha
At the beginning of class she says "I'm in a different class, I switched to be in this class today" OMG this girl is too funny!!
And when Konrad named the 1st Pres of the United States she raises her hand and says "I know who the 16th president is, it's Abraham Lincoln"....Rayli is so smart!


NAME: Rita Jennings
AGE: 6
PARENTS: Norma & Lucky Jennings
FAVORITE FOOD: Fruits
WHAT I LEARN AT HOME: "When me and my mom are watching tv and we see a shake in the movie my mom always says "that's what I do at work...make shakes"" lol "That's what I learn"
MY MOMS JOB: "She makes the shakes"
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Rita was so reverent in class, she raised her hand for every question, and she had lots and lots of questions!! Hmmm she must get that from her dad hahha!!!




NAME: Luke Atuaia
AGE: 7
PARENTS: Sara & Donny Atuaia
FAVORITE FOOD: Chicken
DADS JOB: "He's a teacher, and he teaches Spanish"
WHAT I LEARN AT HOME: "I learn the scriptures, and my dad teaches me Spanish too"
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We talked about not doing bad things because Jesus didn't do bad things. One of the bad things Luke said we shouldn't do is COMMIT ADULTERY!
LUKE: "Can I tell the class what that means?"
ME: Ummm sure. (lol)
LUKE: Committing adultery means that when you get married you should only love the person that you get married to and no one else".....aww this was so sweet!! Great job Luke!
As soon as Luke asked to explain, Konrad yells "Nooottttt again!", while Rayli plugs her ears!! Hahahha

Luke knew every answer, and Konrad said it was because "He has a lot of church movies and he watches them alllllllllllllll the time" (while rolling his eyes) hahahahah

NAME: Konrad Taotua
AGE: 6
PARENTS: Eugenia & Fui Taotua
FAVORITE FOOD: Bruce Lee Cake
WHAT I LEARN AT HOME: The scriptures and Bruce Lee.
MY DADS JOB: "He makes lots and LOTS of money", "I'm poor so I want a job so I can be rich" hahhahaha
DESCRIPTION OF HOME: "My house looks like an aquarium, it's where all the animals come"
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ME: "Who is the Prophet?"
KONRAD: "Thomas S Monson, AND I know George Washington was the first President of the United States, and Barrack O Bama is the United States president right now"
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ME: Class what treats would you like next Sunday since you guys were so good today?
Kids: Cupcakes, candy, rice krispies, etc
Konrad: "I don't want treats, I don't want to be diabetic" hahahahahah
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These kids have probably taught me more than they know. In the process of teaching them, they taught me so many things. I understand more fully Mosiah 3:19 "...........becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father."

These precious gifts from Heaven are just so perfect to me. I do believe we should all be like little children. For they love without question, forgive without hesitation, answer questions honestly, and strive to be just like Jesus .

Through all the laughter and shouting of "I WILL CHOOSE THE RIGHT", I found myself shouting "I WILL CHOOSE THE RIGHT". These little children learned that they have parents like Jesus, they eat foods like Jesus, they learn in the home like Jesus, they have hard working parents like Jesus, they have a bed to sleep in like Jesus, they have friends like Jesus, and that they definitely love like Jesus.

I am forever grateful for the opportunity I had to teach them. I can just imagine the love and care they add to each and every one of their homes to make it a little piece of Heaven! I love these kids and admire their parents and teachers who have taught them well!!!

"......BECOMETH AS A CHILD......."

"Hypnotic Eyes"

Getting ready for bed tonight I fell on my knees to get ready for prayer, which is our usual routine. And as usual my husband is still on the bed waiting for me to say "Knees hunny!". As I looked up at him to tell him, his eyes caught my eye! The light was shining on those beautiful caramelish-walnut eyes! The eyes that I fell in love with. I just stared at him and I asked him NOT to move so I can keep staring at him. And of course he moved....LOL!I mean seriously.....LOOK at those beautiful eyes!! ^^^^^^^^^

We said prayer and right before turning off the lights I held his face in my hands and just stared into his eyes. I guess I love them so much not only for the beauty of them but for the memories that it gives me.

When my husband and I first started dating there was this moment that I will never forget. We were driving around West Valley one day (his hometown). It was a sunny, beautiful day. I loved looking at him while he drove, which drove him nuts LOL. As he turned to tell me to stop staring at him, the sun hit his eyes and it was the first time I realized just how light brown his eyes were. They were absolutely beautiful. If silky caramel was a color THAT is what it would look like!

From that day I would always stare into his eyes. There's something about those eyes that hypnotizes me every time! My knees get weak and my heart skips a beat! I just LOVE those eyes of mine!

"My Tears Are Speakers of My Heart"

I can recall almost all the moments in my life when I have cried uncontrollably! The kind of crying where my chest is heaving, where there are so many tears that my vision is blurred, and where you can NOT understand my words.

Last night was one of those moments. I was referred to a blog by one of my best friends. A blog from an individual named Samoana Matagi. What a small world we live in, for I too know Samoana Matagi. I actually just know him as "Sam".

Sam and I know each other through a mutual friend, the details are not important. What's important is that after all these years we are able to reconnect as friends. As I logged on to my laptop and jumped onto my bed, I prepared myself for some good reads. I opened the blog, Samoana (The No-Handed Bandit) Matagi, and started to read. Not even a whole paragraph in and I was captured. Captured by the well written words, the ups and downs and struggles, and especially the emotions that it relay.

My husband was laying next to me listening to me read, and when I stopped, he looked up at me to see why I stopped reading and I was just in tears. I couldn't bring myself to read a single word. It seemed like minutes had passed and I finally brought myself to start reading again. Every word was a struggle to read. The tears were coming down so fast that I had to constantly wipe my tears to be able to see my screen.

Sam is the true definition of a "fighter", a "survivor", one who has been to "hell and back"! A divorcee, who has had BOTH his arms amputated, and STILL testifies of Christ, and continues to look at the positive things in life. Who looks to his mother for strength, the strength to live, and knows that his life was spared to do good on this earth and to be a wonderful example to those who are struggling and feel they can not live anymore!

I can say that I am grateful to know Sam. To know of his struggles, and to know that there is always someone fighting something greater than you are. Like Sam we need to find our purpose of living, reason for fighting when we feel we can't anymore, and to just live!

"No More Judging"

One of the things I regret deeply in my life is not giving enough or hardly EVER to the homeless!

When I was younger I used to walk by the homeless and pretend I didn't see them. I used to think that if I gave them money they would probably use it on drugs, alcohol, sex etc!

It wasn't until a talk was given in church a year ago that opened my eyes to just how WRONG I have been!!! It's not about what they do with the money I give them, it's about me GIVING!!! With no judgement, no negative thoughts, just giving!

This last year I have done just that, It doesn't make me feel any better quite yet, I think I'd have to give for the rest of my life to feel better!

So yesterday when I was running errands I saw 2 different homeless men probably standing a few steps from each other. The first guy I gave $10 to...which wasn't even mine LOL, so I will have to replace it hahhha (people don't leave money in my car). The second guy I saw I felt kind of guilty, I had no more cash on me...BUT I did remember that I had Oreo's in my back seat! It couldn't all fit in the missionaries package that I sent the day before so I honked my horn at him and he came running and I gave him some oreo's! He actually looks exactly like this guy .............

I will never ever ever judge another.........whether or not they use the money the way I would want them to it's not up to me. If they have to stand on a corner and hold a sign, in the cold, than THAT in itself is calling for help! If we think that the next car will help, than think again!! It starts with us, one person at a time!!!! I NEED those blessings!!!!

"It's NEVER Easy Hearing That Question"

Being asked from a million different people for the last 6 1/2 years "Why don't you have kids?", or "Don't you guys want kids?", or "What are you guys waiting for?" doesn't make it easier at all, no matter who asks, and how it's asked, to answer those questions!! Every time I reply the same way"Ohhh we're just waiting for when our Heavenly Father blesses us with one.", when really I wanna say "How about you mind your OWN business!" Every time someone asks me that question a part of me cries inside, and even though I hate to admit it........a small part of me wants to question "YES why DON'T I have kids yet?"

Today was different, it was my husband who asked me "WHY DO YOU THINK WE DON'T HAVE KIDS YET?"

To be honest I was shocked because he has never questioned why, it would always be me questioning why. As soon as he asked me I paused and sat for a little bit and without thinking I said "I KNOW we're going to have children someday, now may not be the right time". Than he says "How do you know?", and I said "Because my patriarchal blessing says so".

As we had this short conversation a million thoughts ran through my mind, like "If I don't give you children would you still want me?", "Could you live a life with just the two of us?", or even "Is there much in the future without children?"! Alll silly questions to me now, but staring into my husbands eyes at that moment I could feel his want for a child at that very moment! I too would love a child now, but after wasting the first five years of our marriage thinking about it, I left it to our Heavenly Father!

2011 was the first year I was finally okay with the thought that.........okay we don't have kids now but they will come. I just wanted to tell him do you think I don't want kids, do you think I like taking everyone else's kids and having to return them to their parents at then end of the day? Do you even think I like being a forever aunty and NOT a mommy??? I WANT so much, more than anyone will ever know, to be a mommy, to change diapers, make bottles, rock them til they're asleep, to have those little hands hold my face and tell me they love me, to have someone yell out "MOMMY"?!!! I want all that and more, and I have come a really long way to finally accepting that NOW is just not the right time!!

I hurt when I see parents neglecting their kids, dressing better than their kids, grooming themselves and NOT their kids, or even treating their children like they're a burden! I WANT so badly to have the opportunity to care for another human being and to teach them EVERYTHING that I know and more!!! I am just a little bit emotional about this because I know I'll be a good mother and I would just LOVE to be 100% about my answer the next time someone asks "Why don't you have children yet?"

There's nothing else I can say, but I KNOW that that day will come, the day when my home will be filled with children's laughter, my white walls will be colored with paint, markers, and crayons, and I will look a hot mess everyday from chasing my fat lil children lol, and I will be panicking over every little thing they do and say, although I know today is not that day it will come and THAT puts a smile on my face and chases the tears away!

BAD attitude = BAD Valentines

I am one who LOVES every holiday. So I tend to have high expectations when the holidays come around!

I didn't want to waste a blog on writing about Valentines because it was the worst one yet! NOT because of my husband but because of my horrible attitude!

We worked, played cards, and I LOST a bet so I had to cook dinner! And I was so mad at my husband because I "thought" he cheated!!! I never learn my lesson.....i'm always betting on cards LOL....never money just chores, items, ect. My good friend Leti told me "Didn't you learn you should never make bets with the devil?" sooo TRUE I should just stop lol!!

So there goes my attitude, ignoring him and all! We get off and I start cooking fish and pork chops!! Dinner was actually really REALLY good....but like my husband said "This dinner would be so much better if there was some conversation"!!

He's so right....WHY do I have to be such a brat!! It's NOT all that serious!! So we ate, laid in bed, and he just held me and asked what was wrong with me!!! All I said...with a sigh.... was I guess I just had too many expectations!! I mean hellooooo it is Valentines Day!! And seriously what does that even mean??? I guess it wasn't about the cards, it started there, but it was so much more to me!

Well he put me right in my place....he asked me well what did you do for me?, BESIDES cooking because I had to for losing a bet! Ummmmm WOW I didn't do ANYTHING either!! I felt so bad, and I had NO argument!! My poor husband, WHY does he even put up with me sometimes!!???

Well we got out of bed, and went to get some chocolate chip cookies with MJ! We came and went to sleep!

I went to bed thinking I ruined Valentines!!! BUT according to my husband Valentines is everyday!! Isn't that the truth!!?? YES it is.....and I promised myself the next morning I will NEVER ever ever have ANY expectations for Valentines.....loving each other 365 days in the year is waaayyyy enough for me!! Although I love Valentines, I love my husband a million more times than ANY holiday!

I've kissed his face a million times after, told him I love him a million times, and hope it mended my broken heart! Broken heart from being such a witch to him!!

I'm grateful that I have someone to love and an amazing someone that is!! When I have an attitude I waste time that I could have had loving my husband, my one and only, my better half, my VALENTINE!!!!

Lesson Learned!!!